Superman

"I'm tempted to just let the whole lot of you violate the rights of the other whole lot of you. I'm tempted to just adhere to Star Trek's Prime Directive.

"But your children have rights. And so do the handful of civilized and moral humans which do manage to exist.

"Moreover, I personally prefer to live in a decent and humane society -- not a horrific and savage one. Hence I will act."

Thus spake Superman.

This strange and inhuman creature first rocketed to earth from the distant planet Krypton. At the time, he was a mere infant and orphan from an advanced, but recently-destroyed, alien civilization. Kal-El, or Clark, as he was usually known, was raised in Smallville, Kansas by surprisingly wholesome, healthy, and happy parents. They were also quite rational, moral, and liberal. The space alien's adoptive mom and dad taught him extensively about Greece and The Enlightenment.

But the superboy's dead parents -- thru amazingly alive and interactive technology -- also helped in Clark’s upbringing and education. They instructed him on Kryptonian liberalism in philosophy, culture, politics, history, and art.

Clark’s human family was remarkably similar to him in surface appearance and even underlying biology. But they were also quite slow and weak. Physically, they seemed as helpless as week-old kittens.

But the Kryptonian loved them anyway -- and they loved him back. The interstellar refugee felt happy and 100% at home. His upbringing was rock-solid and close to wonderful.

Clark was well-educated by both sets of parents as he grew from a baby to a teenager. He also did a lot to educate himself.

By the time he was fourteen this exotic, but level-headed, superteen had made love countless times to Lois, Chloe, and a dozen other lovely, lustful ladies in or near Smallville. A few kindly teachers -- of both sex and life -- were his mom's age. They gave him tremendous pleasure, satisfaction, and joy. Also confidence.

Several smiled and mockingly said to him: “Are you sure you’re ready for this, Clark?” He smiled back and politely replied: “Let’s find out.”

The Kryptonian transplant stood alone in many respects and so was fiercely dedicated to personal growth and self-improvement. So he grew up fast and well. His mind became quick and his spirit indomitable.

This superbeing never stole from, or physically hurt, anyone -- altho' he easily could have. That just wasn't his nature. Instead, Clark was committed to truth, justice, and the American way. He loved liberty above all else.

By age sixteen this superman was ready to make his way in the world. He wanted to live life to the full. And yet...

The adopted alien observed that the human beings all around him weren't just physically slow and weak. They were also appallingly intellectually slow and weak.

And they were generally morally low. Their civilization was primitive and backward. And because of this, their souls were warped and blackened. To the superman, Earthlings were psycho-spiritually atrophied and crippled. They were a mere shadow of what they could be. Superman was dismayed and outraged.

He discussed all of this with his sympathetic family, friends, and lovers. But they couldn’t offer him much useful guidance. Superman was perplexed.

At sixteen, Clark Kent moved out of his home and got a job at a big newspaper, working on the international section. He kept the immense physical powers he possessed a secret from all but his intimates.

But the whole time Clark was reporting on the world situation, he was watching and thinking. The whole time Clark was quietly fuming. The sheer  irrationality of human world culture left him numb.

Finally, after a few months on the job, where he did rather well, the space alien took a week off to fully think things thru. He spent it at his private retreat, the Fortress of Solitude, in the Artic.

There he made his decision.

Superman simply found the current Earth situation unbearable. He wanted a better world. He needed it. To the bottom of his soul, Superman was starving for a far superior circle of friends, family, neighbors, and colleagues, as well as a far better culture for them and him to live in.

So he set to work.

First, he made an unexpected announcement at the United Nations. Superman flew past security and commandeered a major General Assembly meeting. He gave his speech before the beautiful, green, marble podium and a packed house. The unhappy alien stated:

"This is hardly the forum I would prefer. But it'll have to do. Next time perhaps I'll speak before a leading philosophical or cultural group, such as at Harvard, Stanford, or Oxford. Or the Cato or Liberal Institute. But currently almost all people on Earth seem to hold this disgusting and black institution in high regard. So be it."

Then Mr. Kent gave the essence of his address. He hadn't worked on it much. He didn't need to. Kryptonian liberalism was far advanced over the human variety. Superman explained:

"The truest and best beliefs and values are those of the epistemology of reason and science, the ethics of individualism and self-interest, the politics of liberty and justice, the esthetics of romanticism and heroism, and the spirituality of transcendence and triumph. Your current overwhelming belief in the epistemology of nihilism and religion is wildly irrational, depraved, revolting, and inexcusable. So too the ethics of self-sacrifice, whether to the collective, the Other, or some god. Also deeply false and evil are the politics of welfare statism and Big Brother. I can help you here.

"Kryptonian liberalism will be placed at your service. I have extraterrestrial books. This invaluable philosophy, literature, and art will be given to you. I hope you learn and uplift yourselves radically. Or, at least, that a small elite town or a tiny group of my best friends do. That would be incredibly sweet. But now...

"I have to work on politics. It's currently an omnipresent physical chain which is shackling you. An escape-proof jail which is imprisoning you. So it's a good place to start.

"Please note: A governmentally-free society will massively lead to liberalism in epistemology, ethics, esthetics, and spirituality. Liberal politics is a great platform to build a world upon. Or, at least, to erect a small, shining city on a hill.

"I personally want, and even need, to live there. My present situation is intolerable. Not all my acquaintances should be inmates in a criminal insane asylum. So...

"Time to end tyranny. Time to end today's universal worldwide welfare state."

Superman got to work.

The top ten "leaders" or dictators in China, Russia, Pakistan, Iran, Saudi Arabia, North Korea, and Cuba were consulted first. Superman thought this was a reasonable and modest first step. He advised them on the nature of the state and the value of liberty. He taught them about cooperation and harmony -- how society most efficiently worked and people best interacted.

These humans tyrants were informed that their current main socio-economic system initiated force. They were educated that their main political system involved coercion. The man from Krypton suggested a pro-freedom alternative. The authoritarians were also politely informed: "Convert or die."

They chose death. Superman expected this. So be it.

After a few days of considering the nature of individual existence and collective interactivity, the next ten "leaders" of the seven slave states did far better. Eventually, they got it right.

Soon it was America's turn. Resentfully and fearfully, Superman was first allowed a nationally-televised, live address before a joint session of Congress. It was the highest rated show ever.

Prior to the speech there were several attempts by the United States's "security" forces to terminate the extraterrestrial. They weren't effective. The national address went on as planned.

"Thank you for inviting me to speak," the space alien said. He wore an ironic smile. "I grew up in your country, you know, and I love it best. Still..." A slight grimace.

"I truly detest being judge and jury. But I don't know what else to do. My overwhelming preference is to live under rule of law -- not men. And certainly not under me.

"But current American and world law is just so irrational and nonsensical. So absolutely hostile to Natural Law. So inimical to liberty, justice, and individual rights. It's not even close to being normal or healthy or right. The intellectual leaders of your finest think tanks and universities have really and truly misled you. Really and truly betrayed you. And so have your politicians."

Superman paused and looked at the assembly soberly. After a while the silence became uncomfortable. But the extraterrestrial's gaze never wavered.

"Let's see if we can get a few things right, shall we?" Another long awkward pause. Then the lecture began.

"You're not allowed to initiate force against your fellow man. Obviously. You're not allowed to physically attack the innocent and peaceful. Clearly. You're not allowed to initiate an attack upon people or property."

He paused. "Do I really need to explain or defend this?"

Another pause. "Democracy doesn't justify attacks upon the people, or their freedom of action, or their things. Doing good doesn't either. Nothing excuses or legitimates attacks upon the rights of man.

"Individual rights are absolute and untouchable. The United States's Constitution correctly refers to them as inalienable." Ironic smile. "That's correct. The right to life, liberty, property, and privacy extends to infinity."

Superman waited a bit. There was dead silence in the House of Representatives.

"You can't 'regulate' economic behavior. You can't 'regulate' social behavior. You can't 'regulate' personal behavior. That's tyranny. The Holy Individual -- which is both sacred and inviolate -- gets to behave as he chooses." Silence. "Leave him alone." Silence. “Take your hands off him.” Silence. "Stop 'leading' and 'guiding' and 'helping' him." Dead silence.

Trying hard to be persuasive and reasonable, the Nietzschean overman continued: "I think you should rename government 'protectment' or 'defensement'. After all, that's what the state does. And that's how it was named in most of the languages of Krypton.

"By its nature and definition, the 'government' protects and defends individual rights -- protects and defends liberty and justice for all -- protects and defends people and property. But no-one wants to be governed. No-one wants to be ruled. Whereas everyone seeks to be protected and defended." Pause. "I think we need a better word here.

"Oliver Cromwell stood up to kingly tyranny and called himself 'Lord Protector'. Maybe your president, governors, and mayors can do something similar. 

"No more 'activist' governments which 'doing something' about various supposed personal, social, or economic problems when all such activities and doings are totalitarian. No more ‘positive’ or ‘assertive’ government behavior. Just reactions against violations of individual rights.

"The Welfare State is quintessentially statist. That means tyrannical. As it 'caringly', 'lovingly' leads, guides, and helps 'the people' it doesn't protect or defend the Individual. It attacks him.” There was a pause. “No more of this, please."

Long pause. Deep resignation. "I have more hope for you American politicos than the previous folks. But no real expectations. Let's see what happens." Such an awkward pause. The superbeing seemed to eye every person in the room. There was no rush. Then, instantly, Superman flew away.

The next few days in America were underwhelming, liberty-wise. This, despite the dramatic changes instituted everywhere else.

As expected, America's top ten statist criminals and semi-dictators were eliminated. This included the President, Vice-President, Speaker of the House, President of the Senate, the Governors of California and New York, and several Supreme Court "justices".

The Americans protested loudly and clearly. Almost all the think tanks, universities, and major media made a last stand and shouted in defiant unison:

"You have no right to tell us how to govern ourselves. We have every right to autonomy and self-rule. We govern in true democracy -- a noble ideal which goes back at least 2600 years.  We govern sincerely for the common good -- a noble ideal which is even better established. Our small deviations from your capitalist and libertarian radicalism is none of your business and our collective right. Your foreign and Kryptonian laissez-faire fundamentalism is alien to Earth and something we virtually all massively and passionately reject. You have zero right to force it upon us."

Superman replied: "I'm tempted to just let the whole lot of you live like wild animals -- as you virtually all prefer. As you virtually all have been brainwashed into 'liking'. I truly and contemptuously am. But...

"Your children exist. They haven't been assiduously indoctrinated -- yet. And they have rights. They aren't feral beasts -- yet. Why should they be thus brainwashed and dehumanized?

"So too a handful of moral and civilized adult humans do exist. And they have genuine rights. They aren't brain-destoyed wild animals, and don't wish to live as such.

"My mind and soul is with them. Not you. Not the ferocious and overwhelming majority. I've already demonstrated that with the other nations.

"Are you really so resistant and defiant? So committed to evil and slavery?

Long pause. As usual, Superman took his time. His eyes seemed to bore inside their very souls. With is internal quietude he made the Americans wait.

"Then I think I should tell you something else. Something I haven’t revealed to the other nations. You're not going to like it. Brace yourselves, tyranny-lovers!” Pause.

"Not only does Natural Law exist, and have to be obeyed, despite a rich unanimity of ignorance about it, and thus opposition to it. Not only are immature children and liberty-loving adults entitled to their Nature-given rights but...

"You're not allowed to teach your kids religion, nihilism, or self-sacrifice either. That's child abuse. That's more brain-washing. That's mental and psychological torture. You properly go to jail for that, if not worse."

When the superman's radical views became known, there was immense disquiet. A bad situation had become worse. 

As expected, the next ten American "leaders" and semi-tyrants resisted somewhat. And the next ten, and even slightly the next.

After about five days of this unpleasant and feckless nonsense, Superman emphasized: "There is no right to violate rights. You are never free to violate freedom. Individual liberty trumps collective democracy, autonomy, and self-rule 100% of the time. Justice trumps peace. The common good is a false and collective notion. It's an evil ideal. You need to replace it with something far better: the individual good. This protects and benefits everybody. This loves and cherishes everybody.

"Altruism and the brotherhood of man does not justify tyranny. Charity must be non-governmental. It must be free and voluntary -- or it's a form of robbery and slavery.

"If you want to benefit the poor, old, sick, weak, crippled, orphaned, and so on, you need to understand that private charity -- not communist, collective, coercive, criminal, tyrannical, government charity -- is almost infinitely more beneficial than your current evil, improper, illegitimate state charity. Government charity has absolutely no right to exist. It’s the flip side of vice law or victimless crime law.

"That's simply not what the protectment or defensement does. By its very nature and definition it protects and defends human nature-based Natural Law. Protects and defends liberty and justice for all. Protects and defends the Holy Individual and all of his private property. It does not fund popular do-gooding, nor moral improvement, via coercive taxation. All "taxation" is voluntary and contractual. You're not allowed to steal from society or the state to fund acts of supposed collective or personal beneficence. The protectment and defensement only exists to provide a shield around the individual to prevent all attacks -- including and specifically from society and the state."

With his strength, speed, self-discipline, and indomitable will, Superman carried the day.

Before too long, "the Kryptonian way" was the belief and the law. In only a few years it was 99% "the Human way" too. People loved it. Youngsters looked at the tiny minority of dubious old as if they were space aliens. Politics was transformed. So was society.

And, very soon, so was philosophy. Liberalism was ferociously everywhere in people's culture, lifestyle, and attitude. Life on earth was an unprecedented and indescribable paradise.

By age nineteen the Kryptonian superman could finally relax. His friends, family, neighbors, and colleagues bore little resemblance to their earlier versions. Clark was finally, fully, fantastically satisfied, pleasure-filled, and happy. His political power permanently fell to zero -- as he liked it.

But a great many of the Earth's philosophical greats came to him anyway. So did a great many of the Earth's hot chicks.